Dear Joe Letters: Breaking up with the Mormon church

 My sister (nine years younger than me) slowly left the LDS church as she began a non-mormon, troubled marriage very young. As she worked through these hard times in her life, we were not truly there for her.  Dear Little Sister: I cannot express the sorrow I feel for not being there when you needed your family the most. It hurts my heart to think about the loneliness you must have felt as a young women trying to find your way in an overbearing marriage and having your family support system ripped away. I'm so sorry that the brainwashing of the church lead us to judge you for your choices instead of unwaveringly loving you and being there for you. I'm sure there were times that you wanted to reach out to us for guidance, but you knew and felt that the mormon judgment colored our natural love for you.  When you called me to complain about the many times missionaries were sent your way, I told you that I understood your frustration. I tried to understand, but deep down I th...

For this post I'm narrowing the view of apologists to specifically discuss polygamy apologists. This post was inspired by listening to a famous LDS apologist discuss his personal views of polygamy. Dear Polygamy Apologists:     First, I need to get this off of my chest. It makes me very angry when you use the fact that the family of Fanny Alger stayed in the church, even after finding out about the relationship between her and Joseph Smith, as proof that polygamy was not a bad thing at that time in church history. I feel qualified to talk to this fact since her parents are my Fourth Great Grandparents. This is MY family. We are almost all still in the church, which is interesting to consider; generations of people might never have been in the church if it weren't for their choice to go to Salt Lake and leave Fanny. Let's be real, parents are not perfect. We do the best we can as each experience happens. Some parents do horrible things. We know that mothers of young girls st...

Thirteen years ago my daughter passed away at age thirteen. Here is the letter I would send her if I could. Dear K:     This week was your twenty-sixth birthday. You have now been gone from me longer than you have been with me. I can't even explain how much I miss you. Your two sisters have become substitutes for your conversations and fun, but many times they also remind me that you are missing from our circle.      I hope that you are still around. You could be peeking down from heaven to check on us. Watching your sisters giggle in the car together as they drive to the job they share at Sonic. Watching your brother getting closer to the girl he plans to marry. Laughing at me while I struggle to connect with my high school students.     If you still exist you now know more than I do. I wish you could send me a sign; tell me what I should do. I'm living my life the best way I can. But what if I'm wrong? What if you end up in heaven without me? Wh...

Fanny Alger is known, inside the church, as Joseph Smith's first plural wife. Others might say it was just a normal affair, covered up later as a plural marriage. Fanny was a young girl of about 16, and Joseph Smith was an adult of about 28.  I found out recently that Fanny is my 5th great aunt. Here is my letter to Fanny. Dear Fanny:     I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way you were treated. I know that you were only doing your best to help while you lived with Joseph and Emma Smith. I'm sure you were a good worker. In fact, I bet you were a good friend and support to Emma. I can imagine you, and her, scrubbing dirt out of the laundry together and laughing as you hung each piece on the clothesline stretched outside. I know that your parents sent you there to help out with your family's finances. You were there to help two families, yet who helped you?       I'm sorry that Joseph Smith, who was supposed to be a prophet of God, took advantage of you. ...